Welcome one and all. Tonight the top 36 is revealed to everyone that doesn't have the internet!

Normally, this is the "Elevator-O-Doom" followed by the "Chair-O-Death" show but I think they might do it differently this year. Since this is a two hour episode, I hope that we get to see each of the top 36 for more than two seconds. Just remember, the ones they show the shortest amount of time are the ones they don't want you to vote for...so I vote for them the first time on principle alone!

The show starts with the usual utterly random shots of just about everything. This time they have creepy whispering voices in the background as well. Judging from the clips they just showed, it's going to be an interesting night. On a side note, I think the new video editor has ADD.

The 54 kids are going to "The Judges Mansion". It seems that the kids are going to be sitting in a room waiting until it's their turn. They then walk through a pretty garden and down a long hallway, then turn to face the judges. The judges are sitting in big comfy chairs looking like they expect someone to feed them grapes. The kid sits and they tell them their fate...go home...or go on TV. Ryan also mentions that they may have to sing for their lives (more on that later).

First up is Anoop "Anoop-dog" Desai. According to the list that was leaked weeks ago, he made it...and he did.

Von "I can only sing really, really loud" Smith is also on the leaked list and he did in fact make it. Von's mom is happy. I like her shirt.

The sing off happens when the judges are unsure of who to pick. Ryan blames it on the contestant being so strong...okay...if that helps you sleep at night.

Cody Something or Other is next and he is asked to sing again. Alex Wagner-Trugman is on his way in the room to sing against him. Cody starts singing and he sounds pretty nervous, poor guy. Turns out that Cody and Alex became friends during Hollywood Week. After the first two notes, it's obvious to me that the list was right and Alex makes it and Cody doesn't. Yep, that's what happened.

Adam "Emo Wanna Rocker" Lambert is next and they show a TON of video of him. After some bad acting by Simon, he's safe.

After the break, it's Taylor Vaifanua's turn. OMG! She's only 17! She made it.

Jasmine Murry get zero extra TV time but she is in the top 36. I don't expect her to make the top 12. Arianna Ayesha Afsar is as told she made it in about two seconds. Beckeye's lesbian crush, Casey Carlson is in as well along with Megan Corkrey, Mishavonna Henson and Stevie Wright. I'm starting to get the feeling that the powers that be want a guy to win again this year since they just dissed six of the girls.

Joanna Pacitti, this year's plant, is getting ready to learn her fate. They show clips of her forgetting her words...a lot. Despite all that, she makes it.

After the break, we are treated to a montage of the unseen male talent and we get to hear clips of most of them singing. (I have to remember that, like life, American Idol is not fair and move on.) TK Hash, Chris Chatman and Reggi Beasley get sent home.

Kendell Beard gets extra TV time. She makes it.

Jenn Korbee and Kristin McNamara are singing to the death but not before they show footage of Jen's audition with her way cute hubby. Jenn then sings a Dixie Chick's song. She's okay. They bring Kristin in but not without showing the group day disaster...again. Kristin sings I will always love you over and over again. She sounds better and leaves the room. Paula makes some catty comment about her outfit. The judges start getting loud. The girl come back in to Kara telling Jenn she's cute and Paula telling Kristin that she has bad fashion sense. Simon gets sick of all the chatter and tells Kristin that she made it. I'm voting for her because that was WAY catty of Paula and Kara. Someone should show them a picture of what they wore on yesterday's show. Hello, Pot? Yeah, this is the Kettle. Simon then adds insult to injury by telling them that he completely disagrees and think it should be the other way around. Don't worry Kristin, sympathy votes are headed your way!

BOY! It has really started raining here. WOW! All the windows are rattling...Yikes!

Alexis Grace, aka. Single mom, finds out she made it.

Blind dude, Scott MacIntyre, gets told he has a good relationship with his instrument and he made it. I can wait to see him in a group number!! Is that bad?

Lil Rounds, who lost everything to a tornado, and her big boobs make it. For a second there, I thought I was watching Bay Watch.

Three girls that we never heard sing get the boot AND I think they were all wearing boots...odd. Frankie who is also wearing boots, get some more TV time and then up to the judges room followed by Jessica Langseth, who is not wearing boots. *cue dramatic music* There's gonna be a sing-off! Frankie needs one of those bra clasp thingies that I've seen advertised lately. Frankie sings an odd song about being old which sucked. Jessie also sings an odd song but makes it. Simon is a dick and tells Frankie and Jessie that neither one of them would have or will win. Nice.

Two people we never saw before didn't make it and now cry for the camera.

Allison Iraheta sounds a little like Miley Cyrus to me and she made it.

Are boots really THAT big now?

Widower and Gilligan are up next but not at the same time. Okay, I'll start using their real names just for you Mary Pat. Danny Gokey finds out he made it. Jamar with his skinny tie is out.

Ricky Braddy, Matt Giraud, Ju'Not Joyner, Jorge Nunez and Brent Keith all make it through. With the exception of the first guy, they have all had some camera time at some point.

Stephen Fowler (or should I say Stephen Fowler-Up) finds out that despite forgetting his lyrics, he makes it.

Nick "Norman Gentle" Mitchell is up. We are treated to a Norman Gentle greatest video hits! I can't believe he made it this far! The producers must secretly love Vote For The Worst. Nicks says he'd do anything to make it even wear a bikini like Bikini Girl. Well, at least we know HE watches the show. Norman makes it! AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!! Vote people!!! Vote Norman!!!

Jackie Tohn finds out she in the top 36. She kinda funny. I like her.

Tatiana "Annoying Laughing Girl" Del Toro is up next and we are forced to watch her be insane. I do believe that she is mentally unstable. Paula gives her jewelry. They tell her she makes it and she breaks down. She leaves screaming and squeaking. God, I'm going to get soooo sick of that. In the holding room, no one looks very happy especially Nate.

Jackie and Nate Marshall are in a sing-off. Jackie is doing pretty good. Turns out Nate has a strong sob story. His mom is in prison. The gay boy turns up the charm and the jazz hands and gets the big "W". Go Nate!

Jeanine Vailes (whoever she is) makes it along with Kia Kalama, Ann Marie Boskovich, and Kris Allen (whoever he is).

There are two guys left, Matt Breitzke, the welder dude, and Micheal Sarver, the oil rig dude. Both make it.

There are hugs all around in the holding room.

The names in bold are the top 36 who we will be voting on next week!!

Blog title by Kara: "While You Have A Good Voice, I Think That's Ultimately Going To Hold You Back" Cryptic much, Kara?