WARNING - Depressing Post Ahead
It's life a bitch! Just when you think you've got everything going your way, finally, something happens and you're right back where you started from. For me, it start with the following email from my Aunt:
I have to tell you about kendra's autobio that she had to write for school.
one of the chapters was on childhood friends, and she included in that
chapter her best friend when she was 4 years old. It was you, she said that
if a 4 year old could have a best friend than it was you. she said how she
rememebers always going down to your room and you teaching her a lot of
stuff like, snapping her fingers and all the peoples names on 90210. It was
the cutest damn thing ever, if I can get a copy made of it I will send it to
you. It was so cute.
Isn't that sweet? Well, that's what I thought at first too! My eyes welled up with tears of joy! About 30 minutes later, it hit me like a ton of brick! I had missed SO much by moving back to Virginia! Things that you just can't make up for!
When I was going to college, I lived with my Aunt Kim and her family, her husband and her two kids, Keldon and Kendra. When I first started living with them Keldon was about 4 or 5 and Kendra was about 2 or 3. It was great. I really liked living there and, surprisingly enough, we all seemed to get along rather well unlike when Kim and I were growing up together. Kim, Rick and I would go out and party every now and then. When I'd get home from class, I'd turn into to the "Tickle Monster" and play with the kids for awhile. I lived with them for three of the four year I was in college.
I remember a lot of things that happened during that time and all I have now is fond memories. I don't remember ever being mad at any of them. I'm sure I was because that's how I am but time heals all wounds and makes us forget the bad but remember the good. Right now, I'm not so sure that's a good thing.
I remember Kendra coming down to my room when I first moved in. I was studying for my Government class at the time. She came in and asked me what I was doing. I told her and she said "Government?" That was such a big word for such a little girl! I looked at her with excitement and said that we had to go tell her mom! I handed her my book and told her to take it to her mom and tell her what it was. Well, the book was too heavy for her to carry and I still remember the look on her face as she tried with all her might to keep hold of that book! I ended up carry the book for her when we went and told her mom.
That was also the time that 90210 was hot and we watched it. When the show would start, Keldon and Kendra would start yelling "Say the Names! Say the Names!" So, during the opening of the show, Kim and I would say the names of the actors on the show: Tori Spelling, Ian Ziering, etc. Every time I tune into this season's "Dancing with the Star" I think about this.
There are so many stories I could tell but some of them would get me in trouble. I haven't talked about Keldon, or Kim, or Rick (you've escaped this time), or my little brother! I've missed so much!
I start thinking about those years and the fun I had and then about what I've missed since then and that's when I get depressed and start crying again. Typing those stories made me happy and I thought "Hey! This is working! I'm not so depressed anymore!" Then I started typing this paragraph and all the things I've missed start getting me depressed again.
Kendra is driving now and just had her first accident. She rolled the car on a gravel road! She's fine and so is her passenger (thank goodness). Keldon is getting ready to graduate from High School in a little over a week. I wish I could go back to South Dakota for that! Kim has a BIG birthday coming up. Both Kendra and my brother Andy will also be graduating from High School soon. My Grandmother is not getting any younger and neither is anyone else for that matter.
Don't get me wrong! I love my life now. I love my husband and you know I love our new apartment. Things just couldn't be going better for us right now. I've always been the type of person to not look back. I've always said that it's the choices we made that make us what we are today and, if you're happy, then every choice was a good one. I don't dwell because this is what happens. I've got to snap out of it!
Well, I'm not sure if this helped me but, for the moment, I feel better. I know I said I was going to blog about Apple Blossom and I will, just not today! Thanks for taking the time to read this and if I depressed you, I'm sorry.
ETA: The blog seems to have worked!! I'm much better today!!